Depression II

My eyes are too tired for tears

The weight is pressing down

Upon my shoulders

I’m sinking into the quicksand

Of silent despair

Help me, do something

Don’t let me drown in this pool

My life has clouded over

There is only gray ghosts

And sad shadows

I’m in the darkness with no light

Not even a glimmer of hope

The pain grasps at my chest

It hurts to even feel anything

I whimper and try to breathe

Why I befell this misfortune

Is parts me and not me

So many things have happened

And I let them consume me

Everything keeps sinking down, down

A slow slide into depression

Painful screws twist into my psyche

And I finally cry in desperation

Sometimes there is a miracle

But most times it’s a plea for mercy

Things have to be rearranged

For my brain to stop dropping

And I finally receive grace

To put one step forward again

©2015 Valerie Hathaway

Under the Influence of Friends

Spring stepping lightly

Giddy anticipation likely

They come to call

With eager awakening

New prospects emerging

Fun and mirth delighting

There’s amusement for all

Chattering and laughter

For now and ever after

As memories made and fade

But feelings still remain

Days and nights of splendor

Love forever rendered

Under the influence of friends.

 

©2014 Valerie Hathaway

Wonder Word

A wonder word–

Where will it take me?

To pastures green and beautiful,

Flowers delicate and lovely,

Mountains lofty and majestic?

Or will it take me home

To cats and sofas and fireplaces,

Cozy quilts and soft beds,

Tea and looking out the window?

Will it take me to the city,

With traffic and crowds of people,

To look at items of different styles

And colors most magnificent

Sprung from minds and hands?

I don’t know where it comes from,

But it is an adventure I cannot resist.

 

©2014 Valerie Hathaway

Winter Cup Falls

Winter cup falls

And strawberry faces

Dot the fields of white

Capped by skies of blue.

 

Short be these days

When white turns to gray

And gray turns to mud

Underneath our feet.

 

The fronts turn fickle

But now insistent

On cold blankets

And winds racing

Down the street in a

Snowy sprint.

 

© 2014 Valerie Hathaway

Wandering Years

In my wandering years

I asked for wisdom

And it took me through tangled woods

Cold streams and mountains

City traffic and rude drivers

Fears of war and fears realized

Pains of childbirth and growing up

Deserts of loneliness

And canyons of solitude

Many years of searching

Many years of wondering

What was wrong with me

Rooms of analysis and pills

Days of not being able to breathe

And through all this I learned

That I knew so much and yet

There was so much I didn’t know

And I still needed to learn more

Because things changed all the time

And my wisdom needed revisions

And updates and addendum

Or sometimes a rewrite

But I still follow twisting paths

Looking for the next experience

To add to my treasure chest

That makes up my soul

 

©2014 Valerie Hathaway

Valentine’s Day

My love

Enveloped in crystal and romance

Tell me again those special secrets

Further into the depths of your affection

Cast away those stones of doubt

Color me in lights of your delight

 

My love

You know me more than anyone alive

You’ve seen me as both strong and frail

You’ve walked with me through caves of despair

And still you’ve given me diamonds of hope

 

My love

Not for a day do you spend your endearment

But every day your heart stands with mine

We come together, close with our souls entwined

Beating the winter storms with promises of spring

 

My love

I love you fiercely and with tenderness

I cradle your pain with wise hands

I nurture you like the ground holding a seed

I tend to your heart awaiting its continual debut

I step inside your love and nestle next to your soul

 

And I still love you

 

© 2015 Valerie Hathaway

Twilight Ghost

Ghostly orbs gather around the space

A twilight figure swirls in the cloudy mist

Dancing to some unearthly melody

From a galaxy long past

 

Pink shadows appear on the distance

Forbidden and yet welcome

Riding tendrils of evening sky

 

The being wavers over a tender flower

Not knowing that it can’t pick it up

It sighs and cries

Frustrated over the lack of form

 

Darkening night comes over

The orbs leave to tend to other souls

The twilight ghost disappears

Wandering to find its way home

 

© 2014 Valerie Hathaway

Speak

I am waiting to

Speak.

I wait, inhaling and exhaling,
Listening intently to the monologue
Of someone droning about themselves
And how their lives are wonderful
And how everything is working for them.

I want to say something important;
I want to give encouragement.
I want to give thought to what I want to say,
To make it all worthwhile.
I want to

Speak.

I inhale
And someone else jumps in,
Making a big splash into the conversation.
I sigh slightly
As I listen to the chatter,
A mute participant because I was taught
It would be rude to butt in and interrupt
Just to

Speak.

The dialogue ends and
I ready myself
To

Speak.

But another cuts in front of me
Like the kid who takes the last cookie
In the lunch line.
I feel weary of this
And my mind wanders during the bantering.
I find other things to do
While I listen because I’m tired of waiting to

Speak.

Then it’s done; it’s all over and I haven’t said a word.
So I turn to keyboard and write the words down,
Where I won’t be interrupted,
Where I won’t be talked over,
Where I won’t be drowned out.
Where in quiet desperation and hope
Someone would give me the chance to hear me

Speak.

© 2013 Valerie Hathaway

Sophie

There’s a furry troll on the floor

Bumping her head on my legs

It’s not time yet

 

She jumps onto the couch

Rubbing and purring

It’s not time yet

 

She moves around and pleads

With big green round eyes

It’s not time yet

 

Her face brushes my arm

Kneading the fabric with her feet

It’s not time yet

 

Her tail swishes

Watching me type these words

It’s not time yet

 

I finally get up

She’s tripping over my feet

Meowing and prancing

Not watching where she’s going

Into the kitchen…

It’s time…for FOOD

 

© 2015 Valerie Hathaway

Ready to Fly

Oh she knew she could fly

Fly far, far away

Fly and never be heard from

Or be heard of

It was her innate desire

For freedom from the obligations

That others weighed down on her

Freedom was the taste on her lips

And the sparkle in her eyes

If she could still do the things

Where she was she would

But she could not

Not with all the noise

And daily distractions

The daily disturbances

That was her life

She yearned, pined for freedom

She begged for it to come to her

But she had to come to it instead

She had to fly there

And she was ready

Oh God, was she ready

So tired of the way the world was

So tired of the lack of gratitiude

So tired of the boredom, day in and day out

She gathered her things

She flapped her wings

And off into the dawn she flew away

 

© 2015 Valerie Hathaway